A Fish Tale
by Fantasyandromancelover
Summary: For as long as he could remember, Homer Simpson has always had the worst luck with women. He thought that he had found love when he married Lurleen but then she left him to raise his two kids on his own. However when his daughter Lisa befriends a mysterious woman from the sea, he may just find his soulmate.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay here's my third attempt at writing a Simpsons fic. If no one reviews, favors, or follows this in two weeks then it gets deleted and I give up. Let me know if this is good. **

Ten year old Homer Jay Simpson watched as his friends Lenny and Carl did cannonballs into the sea of the cove he was fishing at. His father Abe Simpson had won them a beach house by the sea through a crooked card game which he cheated at, so during the summer Abe would bring his poker buddies, Homer, and Homer's friends on vacation with him. It was a fun place to stay at, there was just problem. Homer couldn't swim.

He had aquaphobia or in simpler terms he was scared of the water. He had been afraid of it ever since his mother Mona Simpson drowned in a hurricane three years prior. So while his friends would spend their summer vacation swimming in the ocean Homer would just sit by the shore and fish.

"Come on in Homer. The water's fine." His friend Lenny urged.

"Yeah it's not too cold and the waves aren't too rough." His other friend Carl added.

"Nu-uh." Homer replied shaking his head.

"Come on Homer there's nothing to be afraid of." Lenny said.

"Nothing except sharks and jellyfish and octopuses and whirlpools and hurricanes." Homer listed on his fingers.

"Don't be such a fraidy cat." Carl said.

"Your friends are right boy. It's time that you learned how to swim." His father Abe interrupted. "And I'm going to teach you."

Hearing this, Homer immediately tried to make a run for it but Abe was too quick. He caught him by the arm and started dragging him toward a high ledge.

"But Dad I don't wanna swim! I'm scared!" Homer cried.

"You're ten years old. You're too young to be scared of the water. When I was your age I wasn't scared of anything."

"But I'm not you Dad, you're old."

"Shut up and listen! I'm going to teach you the same way my father taught me, by just throwing you in there."

"What?!"

"Now I'm going to throw you in and when I do I want you to start waving your arms and kicking your legs."

"Dad no!"

But Abe just grabbed Homer and threw him into the sea. Poor Homer just started throwing his arms around and kicking his legs, screaming like crazy.

"Dad help! I'm sinking!"

"No you're not! You're doing great boy."

"Dad I'm drowning! Help me! Somebody! Help me!"

It wasn't until Homer went under and didn't come up for about a minute that Abe realized his mistake and immediately ran down from the edge to get him.

Down and down Homer sank like a stone, scared out of his mind that he was going to drown just like his mother. Suddenly he felt two hands grab both of his own and pull him upward. Looking up he saw that those hands belonged to a little girl. She looked like she was the same age as him, she had blue hair that was floating in the water and she wore pearls around her neck. She pulled Homer toward her and kissed him right on the mouth, next thing Homer knew he could breathe under water.

"I can breathe? And I can talk? Weird. How am I doing this?"

"You can breathe and talk underwater as long as you're with me." The girl said.

"Wow. That's cool."

He looked down the girl's body but go his surprise she didn't have any legs. Instead of legs she had a green fish tail.

"What happened to your legs?" He asked her.

"I don't have legs." She told him. "I only have a tail."

"Why?"

"I don't know. That's just how I was born. By the way what was with all the kicking and screaming you were doing earlier. Can't you swim?"

"No. I can't."

"Oh...Then it's a good thing I got to you. A few seconds more and you probably would have gone belly up."

"You mean I would have just floated back up? Why did you stop me?"

"You're not very bright are you?"

"Nope. Or at least that's what my teacher says. Hey you know you're really pretty."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

The little girl giggled while blushing.

"Well you may not be all that bright but you sure are sweet...And cute."

They both laughed and found each other getting along real well. But all too soon the moment was interrupted by Homer being grabbed by his father and as soon as he was pulled away from the girl's hands he lost the ability to breathe and talk underwater. Abe quickly scooped up Homer and carried him out of the water.

"Are you alright son? Speak to me!" Abe cried.

"Dad I saw a girl underwater." Homer said excitedly.

"You saw a what?'

"A girl. She was real pretty."

"Son I'm pretty sure what you saw was just a near death hallucination. I got plenty of those back in the war."

"No she was real and she kissed me and she said that I was cute."

"Yep. Definitely a near death hallucination. Come on let's get you dried off before someone makes a call to social services."

The little girl rose up to the surface and as she watched Homer leave with Abe she started to weep, then dove back into the sea.

Abe never tried to teach Homer how to swim again after that day. True Abe wasn't exactly a good father. Oh who am I kidding he was probably one of the worst fathers in the world. But deep down he did love his son and would have been utterly devastated if anything happened to him.

As for Homer well after some time his father was able to convince him that the girl who had saved his life was just his imagination but she was real and he had unknowingly formed a connection with her that he would never feel with anyone else.


	2. Chapter 2

Twenty-two years later...

If there was one man in all of Springfield who had the worst luck with women it would be Homer Jay Simpson. Romance had not been kind to him at all over the years. Nearly every woman he took an interest in turned him down flat. Then he meet Lurleen Lumpkin. A blonde cocktail waitress who dreamed of being a famous singer. They got married young and had two kids, Bart and Lisa. For awhile everything was good until one day Lurleen decided that she didn't want to be married to Homer anymore so they divorced and she left.

He was now thirty two years old and trying everything he could to support his family. He worked at a nuclear power plant and it paid well but the problem was he needed someone at home to watch the kids. In the beginning he tried hiring babysitters but Bart his son and oldest child was very mischievous and rambunctious, always causing trouble and tormenting the innocent woman in charge of watching him. Soon pretty much every babysitter in Springfield was too terrified of Bart to babysit him or his sister.

"Again I'm really sorry Mrs. Walden." Homer apologized to the babysitter after he came home from work to find her hog tied in the basement.

"Mr. Simpson you're son is the spawn of hell! I would seriously consider taking him to an exorcist if I were you." She said angrily.

"Don't worry I'll consider that. Again I am so sorry."

"Just don't ever call me again!"

She then grabbed her bags and slammed the door. Homer then turned angrily toward his son Bart who was trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Why Bart? Why?" He asked his son.

"I wanted cookies for dinner, she said no, and well you can probably guess what happened after that." The boy said.

"I told him not to do it Dad." His daughter Lisa said.

"Well thanks to your brother no one else in Springfield will babysit you two which means it's back to grandpa watching you."

"Oh no!"

"Not Grandpa!" Bart groaned. "He makes us eat prunes and listen to his stories about the war. It's so boring."

"Well maybe you'll remember that the next time you want to terrorize the babysitter." Homer said.

"Oh so it's okay for you to start fights at Moe's Tavern when you get drunk but it's not okay for me to play a few harmless pranks on the babysitter?" Bart argued.

"Okay first of all those people who I fight with at the tavern have it coming and second in what dimension are your pranks harmless?"

"Mom liked my pranks."

"Bart go to your room!" Homer ordered.

Bart just shrugged and went upstairs

Homer had told his kids that Lurleen left because of his drinking. He wasn't a violent drunk he was just a stupid and annoying one that drove people crazy. Bart was especially hurt by Lurleen leaving. He was very close to her and despite the fact that his parents were divorced he was convinced that sooner or later they were going to get back together. Deep down Bart resented his father and blamed him for his mother leaving.

Lisa on the other hand didn't remember their mother. All Lurleen was to her was just a picture. She didn't misbehave as much as Bart did. In fact unlike her brother she actually tried to help her father out by performing the normal duties of a mother. Despite being a child she was very intelligent and was able to cook all the family meals and clean up the house when it was required of her. However she was still a little girl and like most little girls she needed a mother so she would try to encourage her father to start dating again.

"Hey Dad guess what." Lisa said.

"What?" He replied.

"My art teacher Miss Taylor is looking for a boyfriend."

"Really? Is she?"

"Uh-uh. And she's really smart and pretty and nice and she happens to find bald men very attractive."

"Lisa I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work."

"But Dad don't you ever want to get married again?"

"Maybe someday but not right now. Right now I need to find someone who can handle you and your brother."

"Well if you got married again then your wife could watch us."

"That's easier said than done honey. Besides ehy do you want me to get married so badly?"

"Because I want a mom. I hate going to school and listening to all the other girls in my class talk about their moms. How they help them comb their hair and play dress up with them."

"I could do that with you."

"Well what about when I start to become a woman and I get my period? I don't know what that is yet but I know it only happens to girls and that I'm going to get it and I'm gonna need a mother to explain it to me when I do."

"Alright you got a point there. I'm not even completely sure what a period is. Look sweetie, right now Daddy is really busy and he doesn't have time to find you a mom but I promise you that I will find some lady to explain what a period is when the time comes. Now go to bed, I'll be there to tuck you in a few minutes."

"Okay."

Lisa then went upstairs to her room to change into her nightgown. Homer came up later to tuck Lisa in and kiss her good night. After that he went into the kitchen, grabbed a duff beer from the fridge, and sat down to watch TV. He knew how much Lisa wanted a mother but how could he just get married again? Almost every woman in town thought that he was disgusting and ugly. Women hated him. From elementary school to high school to work, every woman he encountered despised him.

To be honest Homer didn't really love Lurleen. True she was a very attractive woman with a fun personality but they never really connected. He only married her because he thought that no other woman would want him but that marriage didn't last. The poor man was convinced that he would never find love but he would soon learn that he was wrong. Very wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

As the weeks went by life only seemed to become more difficult for Homer. He was constantly forced to work overtime by his boss Mr. Burns, Bart kept acting up, and he was becoming more and more distant from his kids. But the worst of it came one afternoon when he received a phone call from the school. Apparently Bart had started a fire in science class and they sent him to the guidance counselor who concluded that Bart's behavior was a result of bad parenting so a meeting with the child welfare was scheduled for him to attend.

"It has come to my attention Mr. Simpson." The female social worker told him. "That since the divorce between you and your wife, you have been neglecting your children and failing to provide for them."

"I'm trying the best I can."

"Apparently you're not trying hard enough. I mean look at your son, he's basically a juvenile delinquent."

"He's just acting out because he hasn't accepted the divorce yet. He'll grow out of it."

"And what about your daughter? She's in desperate need of a positive role model."

"I am a positive role model."

"A drunk lazy slob who's barely home is not a positive role model Mr. Simpson. But I can't say I'm surprised after all single fathers always fail."

"Hey! There are lots of single parents who are doing just fine."

"Yes the single mothers are doing quite well in Springfield but the fathers, well they're just wasting their time. Mr. Simpson why don't you save yourself the hardship and embarrassment and just relinquish your children to foster care now."

"You mean abandon them? Like my ex wife did? Like hell I'll do that!"

"Well even though I think it's impossible I'm required by law to give you one last chance. If there isn't any improvement in your family by the end of the season I will personally have them removed from your custody and placed in foster care."

"Over my dead body!"

Homer left the office. He then picked up his kids, dropped them at his father's, then went to Moe's Tavern. When he was depressed and/or overworked he would often go there to drink.

"Oh Moe what am I going to do?" He asked his bartender. "Those child welfare agencies wanna take my kids because they don't think a single father can be a good parent."

"Typical business women." Moe groaned. "Oh sure they're all for supporting single mothers but single men? No. Not a chance."

"Well it's also because I haven't been spending enough time with them and the fact that Bart hates me."

"Oh come on Homer he doesn't hate you."

"Yes he does. He blames me for everything bad that happens to him. He blames me for the divorce, he blames me for when he gets into trouble at school, and in about five years he's probably going to blame me for puberty."

"Maybe you and the kids just need to get away from here for awhile. Go on a vacation. It's summer and the school lets out next week."

"I can't afford a good vacation Moe."

"What about that beach house your dad won? Do you still have that?"

"Yeah but Moe I can't swim."

"Your kids can and they got more than just swimming up there. They got hiking, fishing, they have an annual carnival that opens up."

"I don't know."

"They also have a beer and wine tasting feastival."

"I'm in."

So a week later when school let out for summer vacation Homer decided to take his kids on vacation to his father's beach house. He had to bring Abe along too because if not then Abe wouldn't give Homer the keys.

"Are we there yet?" Bart asked during the car ride.

"For the millionth time no!" Homer snapped. "Now shut up will ya?!"

"Hey Dad, Bart according to this mermaids have been spotted by the coves surrounding this island." Lisa said reading a brochure about the beach.

"Lisa mermaids don't exist." Bart said.

"Oh I see so mermaids don't exist but zombies do?"

"Yeah."

Lisa rolled her eyes pulled out a book labeled: MERMAIDS MYSTERIES OF THE DEEP, and started reading it. When they arrived they had to take a boat to get to the island which was driven by Captain Horatio McCallister.

"So how long have you been a sea captain?" Lisa asked.

"Yarrr! Since the day I first came out of my mother's womb." The old captain said.

"Eww." Bart said.

"Oye is the fat one over there okay?" McCallister asked pointing over at Homer who was sitting down and clinging to the boat, paralyzed with fear.

"Oh my wuss of son never learned to swim because he's afraid of the water." Abe mocked.

"Shut up Dad!" Homer shouted.

"Dad if you're so worried about falling in why don't you wear a life jacket?" Lisa asked.

"Because honey I'm fat enough already I don't want to add any extra weight. Now boy bring me a beer."

"Aye-aye." Bart saluted and handed Homer a can of duff beer from the cooler they brought.

"Dad should you really be drinking?" Lisa asked.

"Beer calms me Lisa."

"But Dad-"

"Don't worry Honey I won't get drunk."

Five minutes later...

"Look at me I'm dancing!" Homer slurred as he wobbled around the boat in a drunken haze.

"Well I saw that coming." Bart said.

"Dad be careful." Lisa warned.

But her warning came too late because in that moment Homer lost his balance and fell right off the boat into the sea.

"Dad!" Lisa screamed in horror.

"Oh my God!" Bart shouted.

"Captain you gotta turn this thing around!"

"I'm trying but she don't turn on no dime!" Captain McCallister said turning the wheel as fast as he could.

"Hold on Dad we're coming!" Lisa called.

"Just keep your head up!" Bart called.

Homer tried but he was starting to panic, not to mention he was drunk so that didn't help either. Then he just went under and started to sink toward the ocean floor. Suddenly a pair of arms caught him by his shirt and pushed him toward the surface so he could breathe. However his mysterious savior was having to struggle a bit because Homer was a really heavy man. In the end Homer made it to the air and his father and Captain McCallister pulled him on board.

"Is he going to be okay?" Lisa asked.

"Yeah he's just unconscious. Give him an hour or two and he'll wake up." McCallister said.

He then steered the boat toward the island unaware of that sitting on a rock, watching them leave was a mermaid with blue hair and a green fish tail.


	4. Chapter 4

By the time they made it to the island and had settled into the house, Homer had regained conscious and had a nasty hang over.

"Dad you had me so worried. I thought that we were going to lose you." Lisa told him.

"I'm alright sweetie." He assured her. "Now which one of you jumped in and saved me?"

"What the hell are you talking about Homer?" Bart asked.

"While I was under there someone was with me and they pushed me to the surface."

"Don't look at me home boy I'm not strong enough to lift your heavy ass." Bart said.

"Why you little-" Homer angrily lunged for Bart only to be stopped by Lisa.

"Dad no one jumped in to save you. You floated back up. At least that's what it looked like."

"You were drunk and close to death son, you probably imagined it." Abe said. "Just like the last time you almost drowned here."

"Last time?" Lisa questioned.

"Oh my head hurts." Homer groaned. "I think I'm going to lie down and watch TV. Dad watch the kids."

"Watch the kids? It's my vacation too boy! And on my vacation I am not playing babysitter to these two!" Abe argued.

But Homer just ignored his father and went to his room. After she finished unpacking her bags, Lisa decided to go down to the cove and search for sea shells to collect. Unfortunately every time she spotted a good shell that was cracked or broken the tide would wash it away. After trying and failing to catch one for an hour Lisa decided to go back when she suddenly had the strangest feeling that something or someone was watching her. She looked around but she didn't see anyone.

She heard something splashing around by the shore. Curious she went to see what it was. She hoped that maybe it was a dolphin or a real pretty fish. She leaned over to get a better look at what it was. Then suddenly something grabbed her and pulled her into the water. Lisa screamed and ran out of the sea in terror, once she was back on land the air was filled with the familiar mocking laughter of her brother and she saw that what had grabbed her was Bart wearing goggles and swim trunks.

"Bart! You jerk!" She chunked a broken shell at his head.

"Ow! Where's your sense of humor man?" He said still laughing.

"Dad said you're not allowed to scare me anymore!"

"Since when do I listen to him?"

"Go away Bart!" She demanded while throwing more broken shells at him.

Later that evening after dinner, Lisa wanted to talk to her grandfather about something.

"Grandpa can I ask you something?"

"What?" He replied.

"Earlier today when Dad said that he thought someone had saved him, you mentioned him almost drowning before. What did you mean by that?"

"Well about maybe twenty-two years ago when your father was a kid I brought him, my poker buddies, and his friends on a vacation here. During our stay I tried to teach him how to swim but it didn't go well. Your father almost drowned but I managed to get to him in time. When I got him out of there he swore that a little girl saved him."

"A little girl?"

"Yeah, according to him she was real pretty and she kissed him. I knew he had to be imagining things because what pretty girl would kiss your father?"

"Mom was pretty."

"Oh yeah...Well you know how that ended. Anyway your father also told me that the girl didn't have legs and when he was with her he could breathe under water. What a crock."

"You know Grandpa this island has been rumored to be a sighting for mermaids. Maybe Dad was saved by a mermaid."

"Oh Lisa don't tell me that you've been talking to that sea captain. That weirdo swears that there are mermaids around here."

"Really?"

Now Lisa was a very logical and smart little girl but despite that a part of her enjoyed mythical stories of fantasy. In fact growing up, she loved to read fairy tales by Hans Christian Anderson and one of her favorites was The Little Mermaid though she didn't like the ending that much. That aside the story gave her a small belief that mermaids may in fact exist. So the next day she went down by the dock to speak with Captain McCallister about mermaids.

"Oh they're real alright." He told her.

"Have you ever seen one?" She asked.

"Yarr I saw three of them once."

"What did they look like?"

"The first two were hideous. When I saw them I swore that they were sea hags and they were mean too. They would grab sailors and drag em down to a watery grave. They almost got me they did."

"They sound like monsters."

"Those first two were monsters but the third one, now she was a beauty. I had never seen a more beautiful sight in all my life and there have been many stories about her. They say that she had a soft spot for humans and everytime her sisters tried to drown a man she would save him without a second thought."

"Do you know if I could find them?"

"No but I hear that they are attracted to music."

"Do you think if I played music by the cove it would attract one?"

"It's worth a try but I wouldn't do it if I were you. You might attract one of those awful, monsterous looking mermaids who try to drown people. Take my advice and don't seek them out."

"Out of my way squirt!"

Lisa was then pushed aside by a very large and mean looking man. In his hand he was carrying a very sharp harpoon and in his other hand he was carrying several razor sharp knives. Lisa could tell that he definitely wasn't a man to be trifled with.

"Who on earth was that?" She asked.

"That's Snake Jailbird." McCallister said. "He hurts the fish I bring in but he's also an ex convict who's desperate to get his greedy hands on any kind of money. Best to avoid him yarr."

Taking his advice, Lisa stood up and hurried back to the beach house.


	5. Chapter 5

That evening Homer took the kids out on the boardwalk. Lisa wanted to take some pictures up there while Bart wanted to prank the locals.

"Hey Dad can I have some money?" Bart asked.

"For what?" Homer replied.

"To buy some gum at the snack bar."

"Here you go."

He handed Bart a five dollar bill and with it the boy bought a pack of gum. He then began chewing each stick of gum one at a time then spitting each out on to the board walk so when the locals walked by they would step in the chewed gum. It was dark out so a lot them didn't see the gum.

"Oh gross!" One man who had stepped in it scoffed.

"Ewww!" A girl cried.

"Yuck!"

"Sticky!"

"Who did this?"

"Probably some stupid kid!"

Bart laughed to himself in a amusement, Lisa rolled her eyes and started taking pictures of the sea with her camera. She took pictures of the waves crashing, the tide coming in, and the sea gulls flying just a little ways above the water.

Homer just sat by himself drinking a beer. A few minutes later two attractive women came on to the boardwalk and started talking to Homer. Then she got a glimpse of a tail rippling in the a wave. She thought it was a fish at first until she got a glimmer of the tail being attached to something with long blue hair. From where she was standing it almost looked like a woman.

"Bart did you see that?" She asked her brother.

"See what?" He asked.

"Bart I saw a fish tail and I think that there was a woman attached to it."

"I don't see a woman in the water but I do see two women talking to Dad."

"Really? Where?"

The kids saw that two attractive women were talking to Homer at the moment. Lisa smiled, she hoped that her father would be able to hit it off with one of them but Bart on the other hand was angry and annoyed. You see he was convinced that their mother Lurleen was going to get back together with Homer eventually so he had decided to make sure that until that happened he wouldn't let his father get close to another woman.

Using the last of the money Homer gave him, Bart bought some crackers from the snack bar, crushed them in his hand, and threw the crumbs on to Homer and the women resulting in them getting attacked by hungry sea gulls.

"Hey! Ow!" The first woman screamed as the seagulls pecked at her hands.

"Get out of my hair!" The other woman screamed as the seagulls pulled her hair.

"Ouch! Hey! Get off of me you rats with wings!" Homer shouted as he swatted the seagulls pecking on his head.

Bart burst out laughing while Lisa went to shoo the seagulls away. When they went back to the beach house Lisa decided to confront Bart about his prank.

"What was that about?" She asked him.

"I wanted a good laugh." He answered.

"But those girls liked Dad, one of them might have wanted to go out with him."

"Keep dreaming Lisa, Dad doesn't care about dating anyone because Mom was who he loved."

"But Mom and Dad are divorced."

"For now but she'll come back."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Bart it's been four years."

"Well she won't come back until Dad stops drinking."

"How do you know that?"

"She told me. Before she left, she said that she would be back when Dad was ready to see things her way."

"That doesn't mean she wants him to stop drinking."

"That's why she left in the first place. She couldn't handle Dad being a stupid drunk all the time."

"Bart I think you need to think about the possibility that maybe Mom isn't coming back."

"You don't know what you're talking about. She is coming back."

"But Bart she hasn't even tried to contact us since the divorce. We haven't gotten any letters, phone calls, nothing."

"You're so dumb. Do you even remember Mom?"

"No...Not really."

"Well I do. You don't know Mom like I do okay. She loved us, she wanted us to be a family but Dad drove her away!"

"It can't all be Dad's fault."

"Why do you always defend him?"

"Well someone has to. You blame Dad for everything and you treat him like garbage. At least he didn't leave us."

"Shut up!"

Bart ran to his room and locked the door. Lisa tried to talk to him but he just ignored her and started playing videogames. He always did that whenever he got upset. He wasn't really keen on talking about how he felt. Lisa knew how hard the divorce had been on him but she didn't believe that her father was responsible for their mother leaving. Homer had told them that he was but for some reason she just didn't believe that. She figured that it was because she didn't remember how it happened but for whatever reason she didn't blame him for her being motherless.

...

"Dad I'm going down to the cove." Lisa told Homer the next morning.

"What about breakfast?"

"I'll take it with me."

"Okay but be careful while you're down there honey."

"I will."

Lisa went down to the cove then jumped into the sea for a morning swim. The water was perfect. Not too cold or too rough, just the kind of water that everyone wants to swim in. Later she sat down by the shore to eat her breakfast and to play her saxophone. Lisa had a great love of music especially jazz but her father and her brother didn't care for it so if she ever wanted to play her saxophone she had to do it when she was alone.

Little did she know that she had an audience watching her play but she soon became aware of her spectator when she heard splashing noises and saw a woman's upper body dancing around on the ocean surface. She was a very beautiful woman with long blue hair that went all the way down her back and a string of pearls hung around her neck.

"I've never heard music like that before." The woman said. "It's very interesting."

"Thanks." Lisa said. "Most people find it annoying."

"I've never seen you around here before. Are you new?"

"Sort of. I'm just vacationing here for the summer. Do you live here?"

"Yep. All my life."

"I'm Lisa."

"My name is Marjorie. Do you want to go swimming?"

"Sure."

Lisa put down her saxophone, put on her goggles, and went to join Marjorie for a swim. But when she swam underwater she was shocked and amazed to find that Marjorie didn't have legs. Instead she had a green fish tail that had jewels encrusted on the lower area. She was a mermaid. Lisa was actually looking at a real live mermaid.


	6. Chapter 6

Marjorie was unlike any person Lisa had met. Granted everyone else Lisa knew was human but it wasn't just fish tail she found amazing. Marjorie was a very smart person. She was very fluent in English, French, and Latin, she knew everything there was to know about the sea, and she enjoyed Lisa's music. She was also very sweet and fun, not only did the two of them swim in the sea but Marjorie made it so she could breathe under water, took her to where the best sea shells were, and she even took her swimming with dolphins. Lisa couldn't remember the last time she had this much fun. They became fast friends but Marjorie made Lisa promise not to tell anyone about her.

"So where do you live?" Lisa asked her new friend.

"In a cave somewhere by the cove of course no one else knows how to get in except for me and my sisters."

"You have sisters?"

"Two of them."

"Are they as beautiful as you are."

"Well...They have inner beauty. What about you? Do you have any sisters?"

"No just a brother but I've always wanted a sister because my brother drives me crazy."

"Believe me sisters can do that to. My sisters used to bully me a lot when I was younger, they're sorry for it now and they treat me better but we still disagree on a lot things."

"Like what?"

"Well they seem to really hate men so they'll try to drown them sometimes. A few days a go a man fell overboard and they wanted him to just drown but I believe that everyone has a right to live so I saved him."

"Really? This man you saved was he by any chance a little heavy?"

"A little heavy? Carrying him I felt like I was carrying a sack of bowling balls."

"It was you! You were the person who saved my dad when he fell off the boat."

"That man was your father?"

"Yes."

"Huh...Your mother must have her hands full with him."

"Actually my mother's not around anymore."

"Oh I'm so sorry, is she dead?"

"No. She's alive but she and my dad split up about four years ago and I haven't seen or heard from her since. I can't even remember her."

"I'm so sorry. I wonder why your she left him? Your father looked like a very handsome man to me."

"Yeah I guess...Wait you think my father is handsome?"

"Yes. Do you think he's not?"

"No. No it's just that...Hmmm...Can I ask you a few questions?"

"Sure."

For the rest of the day and the next two Lisa asked Marjorie various questions such as what kind of music she liked, what she liked to do for fun, if she ever wanted a family, if she saw herself as the motherly type, if she found bald men attractive, and ect.

"How come you keep asking me these questions?" Marjorie asked her.

"Well the thing is my dad really needs a girlfriend and he hasn't had much luck in the dating game so I was wondering-"

"You're not seriously considering setting me up with him are you?"

"Kind of."

"Lisa that's a horrible idea, he's human and I'm not. From the waist down I'd probably look like the seafood special to him."

"You have a point there but I read that mermaids could grow legs. Can you?"

"I can but only when I'm dry and I've never actually done it before and you promised that you wouldn't tell anyone about me."

"I wouldn't tell him that you were a mermaid."

"What would you tell him?"

"I'd tell him that you were a regular human woman and that you were my...My...My tutor."

"And he'd believe that?"

"You'd be surprised what my father would believe."

"I don't know. He seems nice but I don't think he's really my type."

"All I'm asking is for you to just meet him. If you don't like him then that's the end of it. I promise."

Marjorie sighed and thought for a moment. On one hand she was positive that Homer was not her ideal soulmate. From what Lisa had described, he wasn't very bright and seemed very impulsive but she had to admit she did find him very handsome and attractive and he was a good father or at least that's what Lisa had said. Not to mention she had always been curious about what it would be like to date a human man.

"Alright I'll meet him."

"Great! Now I just have to convince him to meet you."

...

"Okay who is she again?" Homer asked when Lisa came home telling him about how she had found the perfect date for him.

"Her name is Marge and she's my tutor."

"Lisa it's summer. Why do you have a tutor?"

"Because I wanted to spend the summer learning about marine biology and she happens to be an expert on the subject. Anyway I told her all about you and she wants to meet you."

"I don't know. How old is she?"

"Same age as you."

"Is she a looker?"

"Yep."

"Is she smart?"

"Yes."

"How smart?"

"She knows several languages."

"D'oh! Lisa you know I don't have a chance with women who are that smart."

"It's okay Dad she knows that you're not on the same level of intelligence as she is."

"That's a relief. Does she also know that I'm bald and fat."

"She's seen you Dad and she thinks you're very handsome."

"Oh she does, does she?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well I guess I could meet her. Wait a minute this isn't another one of Bart's fake date pranks is it?"

"No Dad, believe me I would never take part in any of Bart's pranks."

"Okay when do you want me to meet her?"

"She'll be here at seven tomorrow evening and I need to borrow your credit card tomorrow."

"For what?"

"I'll explain later and don't worry I'll pay you back the money I promise."

Lisa then hurried off to her rooom.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Lisa took her dad's credit card along with one of his shirts, a pair of his pants, and his underwear to the cove where she would meet Marjorie. She found her friend hiding behind a large rock.

"Well I did it." She said. "I grew legs."

"Can you walk on them?"

"Yes. I'm a fast learner when it comes to stuff like this. But um...You humans like to hide your bodies right?"

"Yeah, here put these on. They're a little too big but they're the best I could find for now."

Lisa tossed her father's clothes over to her and she began to change into them. But they weren't just a little too big for her, they were a lot too big for her.

"These are horrible!" She gasped when she looked at herself in them. "Do human women really wear this?"

"No these are my dad's clothes. You'll have to wear them while we're out today getting you some proper clothes."

"Is your father by any chance half gorilla?"

"No but I can understand why you would think that."

After she was dressed, Lisa and her hailed a taxi that took them to the nearest mall where they went shopping for women's clothes. Using Homer's credit card Lisa bought Marjorie dresses, shoes, ladies underwear, make up, and took her to the spa. Once that was done Lisa went back to get her father ready. She helped him pick out his best suit and tie, bought him some decent cologne, and booked a reservation at a very fancy restaurant.

"Lisa I'm not sure about this." Homer said looking at himself in the mirror of his bathroom. "What if she's ugly and mean?"

"She's not. Believe me Dad you're going to love Marge."

"I don't know sweetie. Love and I don't exactly mix very well. I mean I've never even been in love."

"Never? What about with Mom?"

"I cared deeply for your mother. I really did but I...I didn't love her. The thing is all my life women have just found me to be awful, your mother was the first one not to and didn't think any other woman would love me so I married her as soon as I could but that was a mistake."

"Well maybe Marge will end up being your soulmate."

"Lisa I appreciate what you're doing for me, I really do but I don't think this is going to work out. I'm just one of those men who don't have a soul mate."

"You can't just give up Dad. Who knows you might fall in love with her at first sight."

"Don't get your hopes up. I guarantee you she'll take one look at me and run off screaming just like my prom date in high school."

Then there was a knock at the door.

"She's here." Lisa fixed Homer's tie then excitedly ran downstairs to answer the door. Homer took a deep breath and soon followed after his daughter. He decided to humor her and go on this date, not at all thinking that it would work out in his favor. "Dad this is Marge."

Homer's jaw dropped and his entire body froze when he saw her. Standing at the doorway was a beautiful woman in a purple dress revealing the most attractive pair of legs ever seen with matching purple heels on her feet and her blue hair was curled up.

(Insert whistle)

"Nice to meet you." Marge said with a smile.

Homer was speechless and his brain was broken. He couldn't talk, he couldn't move, he couldn't think. All though he hardly ever thought anyway.

"Dad say something." Lisa said.

"Homer I'm hello." He spouted nervously. "D'oh! I mean hello I'm Homer."

"Hello Homer. I've heard a lot about you." Marge said.

"Good things I hope." Homer said tugging on his shirt collar.

"Yes."

Homer was relieved that she hadn't screamed or recoiled in disgust or slapped him like all the other women he had showed interest in the past had done. After introductions were made Homer and Marge left for the restaurant. Unfortunately poor Homer was a nervous wreck, he was trembling and sweating the whole time they were together.

"You've been very quiet this evening. Is something wrong?" Marge asked him.

"Yeah...Sorry I just haven't been on a date in a long time."

"I understand. This is my first date so I'm nervous date."

"Your first date? Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Wow. I thought a woman who looked like you would have had plenty of dates."

"A woman who looks like me?"

"You know...Beautiful."

"Oh thank you."

"If I'm being honest you're the most beautiful woman I've seen in my life."

Marge giggled while blushing.

"Thank you again. Goodness, you sure are sweet and cute."

_"You sure are sweet and cute." _Her words teased a long forgotten memory in his mind.

"Huh?" He said confused.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Nothing it's just...When you said that I...I... Nevermind."

"So what do you like to do for fun?"

"Well I like to bowl and go to the movies and dance."

"I've never danced before."

"No kidding?"

"No. I've also never bowled or have gone to the movies."

"What do you do for fun?"

"Swim. I mostly swim."

"Oh..." He tugged on his shirt collar again. "I can't really swim."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm scared of the water. I know it's humiliating."

"No there are lots of people afraid of the water. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Homer was surprised. He remember how in his youth and over the years women and girls had mocked him for his fear of the water. And it wasn't just women, his father, his friends, even his son teased him about it. The only other person who didn't make fun of him for it was Lisa.

For the rest of the date Homer found himself able to overcome his nervousness and really open up to Marge while Marge found herself enjoying her company with him. True he wasn't that bright and he wasn't exactly an Adonis but he was funny and sweet and honest. He was unlike all the mer men she knew back home in the sea and she liked it.


	8. Chapter 8

"I live a fairly simple life." Homer told Marge. "It's just me, the kids, and my dad."

"What about your mother?"

"Oh...Well um she...She drowned in a hurricane when I was seven. That's the main reason I'm scared of the water."

"I'm so sorry. It must've been awful to lose your mother at a young age and then have to grow up without her."

"Yeah it sucks. My kids are going through the same thing, poor Lisa doesn't even remember her mom."

"Again I'm so very sorry."

"It's okay, I'm a big boy." He assured her. "So do you live alone?"

"Pretty much. My sisters and my mother will visit me occasionally but I keep to myself most of the time. I must confess your daughter is my only friend."

"Yeah well you're her only friend too. At least you're the only one I've ever heard about."

"She doesn't have any other friends?"

"Not that I know of. She's been too busy trying be a mother to me and Bart. I appreciate her trying to help but I really wish that she would just act her age, be a little girl, make friends."

"Well she's a very wonderful girl. So what is your son like?"

"Bart is a...A very special boy."

"Oh does he have any unique talents."

"Oh yeah his talents are definitely unique."

"What does he do?"

"Um...I think we should get to know each other a little more before I tell you that. But I will say this he's a good kid when he wants to be. I just wish he would want to be a good kid all the time."

Marge laughed.

"You're really funny. I like you."

"You do? You really do?"

"Yep."

"You're not pulling my leg are you?"

"I'm pretty sure I'm not considering both your legs are still walking right now."

"No. I mean you're joking right?"

"No. I really like you."

"You sure? Absolutely positive? No doubt whatsoever?"

She smiled, giggled a little, then grabbed Homer's tie and pulled him into a kiss. The very instant her lips collided with his it was like someone had set off a million fireworks inside of him. It was incredible and somewhat familiar. He had the strangest feeling that he had kissed her somewhere before. Poor Homer was so in shock that he just stood there, perfectly. A smart and beautiful young woman was actually kissing him. He couldn't believe it.

"Does this answer your question?" She said.

Homer only nodded quietly.

Back at the beach house Lisa waited with baited breath for her father to come home from his date. She hoped that it had gone well. He didn't have the best luck with dating. He seemed incapable of forming any kind of connection with a woman. She was scared that this date was just going to end in disaster just like his previous dates. But her fears were put to rest when he walked through the door with a stupid, lovesick look on his face.

"Hey Dad how did the date go?" Lisa asked.

Homer gave a dizzy laugh before answering.

"Oh Lisa. You're the best daughter a father could ask for." He picked up the little girl, spun her around, and kissed her cheek.

"So I'm guessing it went well?"

"So far it was the best date of my life."

"Did Marge have a good time."

"Yeah and when I asked her to go out with me again she said yes."

"Oh Dad that's wonderful."

"Thanks for setting us up sweetie. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to drink a beer and then praise God for creating that gorgeous woman."

It had gone better than Lisa had hoped. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen her father this excited about something that wasn't related to Duff beer.

"What's Homer so happy about?" Bart asked his sister.

"He just got back from his date."

"Date? What date?"

"I met this woman named Marge and she's absolutely perfect for Dad in every way so I set them up."

"You what? How could you do that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why would you set Dad up with another woman?"

"Because he's lonely."

"He's not lonely. He has us and Grandpa."

"I know but Bart, Dad has an itch that we can't exactly scratch."

"So why doesn't he just call Mom?"

"Bart they're divorced."

"They don't have to be. If Dad is lonely then he should just go look for Mom and try to work things out with her."

"Bart Mom and Dad aren't ever getting back together."

"You don't know that."

"I think I do."

"What do you know? You're only six! And I'm not going to let you replace Mom."

"I'm not trying to replace Mom Bart."

"Yes you are!"

"You want a new mom because you don't remember our old one."

"That's not true! I just want Dad to be happy."

"Yeah right! You don't even care about our mother anymore!"

He went to his room leaving Lisa feeling very hurt by what he had said. But was he right? Was she really doing this to make her father happy? Or was she doing this because she wanted a new mother? Ever since she was little she had been desperately wanting a mother figure in her life due to the fact that she couldn't remember her own mother. Deep down she was envious that Bart could remember her and she couldn't. She did want her father to be happy but she also wanted a mother too. Was that so wrong?


End file.
